craschworks

I agree with Tynan’s rebuttal to the recent XKCD cartoon that makes fun of the pickup artist community:

“…what about people who CAN’T talk like a normal human being? What happens to people who didn’t happen to develop normal social skills? Why is it so evil and manipulative for them to try to learn them? Things like bantering (a.k.a. negging), good storytelling, good body language and eye contact, are things “normal” people do well. They’re also, not coincidentally, what we teach students. You can’t just tell them to talk like a “fucking human being”, you have to show them what that means.”

I was intensely shy in high school and college.  So I undertook a deliberate program to improve my social skills and reduce my social anxiety.  I still have a long way to go (I haven’t been blues dancing in months because I’m embarassed by how crappy my dancing skills are), but I’m much better than I used to be.  Are there socially maladjusted PUA’s?  Sure.  But that’s to be expected, I think.  After all, if they weren’t socially maladjusted at some point, they wouldn’t have been interested in PUA to begin with.  

I think PUA has been a boon to women.  What does PUA teach?  An incomplete list would include:

• How to be happy with yourself internally
• How to be independent, not needy
• What women find a attractive
• How to be good in bed
• How to dress well
• How to be act confident
• How to tell a good story
• How to tell if a woman is attracted to you
• How to eat right
• How to work out
• How to tell a good joke
• How to banter
• How to be a good leader
• How to develop self-discipline

What woman would _not_ want a man who successfully mastered those traits/skills?  Some PUA’s no doubt get some things wrong.  And some prominent PUA’s, such as Roissy, seem to be driven by anger and contempt for women.  But on the whole, PUA’s seek to remake themselves into men who women find irrestible.  And that is something that I think should be encouraged, not mocked.