craschworks

The market for mates is highly inefficient. Consider the process most people go through to find a date. First, you have to find a pool of single prospective mates. How do you find someone who's eligible? Friends of friends, parties, weddings, classifieds, co-workers, clients, online matchmaking services. Second, you have to screen through the pool of prospective mates to find someone who a) shares some similar interests b) offers value in proportion to the value that you offer them c) shares similar goals and values d) makes you all hot and bothered.

A typical date costs a fairly hefty amount time and money. Let's assume that it's a standard “dinner and a movie” date. Let's assume for the sake of argument that both individuals are cheap dates, s o $10.00/person for the meal. Now add $7-9.00 for the movie plus popcorn. So assume $20.00/person, plus gas and grooming costs. Time involved? Say 2 hrs each for dinner and movie. That's 4 hrs. All to find out if a single individual is someone you w ant to see again.

That's why I like the idea of speed dating. Apparently, it's been popular for a while, but I found out about it recently when I came across the book
Speed Dating by Yaacov and Sue Deyo. Yaacov is a rabbi, so the book is targeted toward Jews, and the companion site SpeedDating.com, is for Jews only. However, several companies offer similar services for gentiles (see below).

Here's how it works:

• A group of singles–an equal number of men and women–gather at a location (cafe, hotel conference room, church classroom) that has been rented out/borrowed for the evening.
• The room is filled with “tables for two” and each table is numbered. When you arrive at the event, you'll receive a name-tag, a dating card (this is where you'll write the names of the people you meet), and your table assignments. Yo u write your first name and number (i.e. Alex 848) on the name-tag and dating card.
• At the appointed time, one man and one woman are paired up at each table, where they have 8 minutes to talk. Participants are also given suggested topics on the dati ng cards to help break the ice.
• At the end of 8 minutes, a staff member rings a bell and all dates come to a halt. Participants are asked to write on a form if they would be interested in seeing this person again. This entails simply checking a 'y es' or 'no' box.
• If both sides checked off the 'yes' box, organizers let participants know within 48 hours which matches have been made, and give each side the other's phone number.
• The men then get up from their seats and move to the next tab le, where another woman is waiting to meet them.
• After 90 minutes of SpeedDating, each participant has met 7-8 people of the opposite gender.

Costs range from $25 – $40.00. Event organizers often hold specialized events according to age ranges (25 – 35), et hnicity (Asian, black), gender (straight/gay/lesbian/bi), and religion (Jews, Christians, etc.)

Verboten Topics

• You're not supposed to talk about your work or where you live. This is supposed to eliminate judgi ng the other person on their current life circumstances.
• You're not supposed to ask for names, phone numbers, or a date. This eliminates the pressure and awkwardness that often accompanies the decision to exchange contact information.

Sug gested Topics

• What is the most important lesson you know about life?
• Who is your hero (anyone from history) and why?
• Who is the most interesting person you ever met? What made them so?
• If you won the $50 million lottery, what would you do (afte r you've travelled the world)?
• What is your most prized material possession?
• What single political or social issue is most important to you?
• Who is your role model of a good marriage?
• Is there such a thing as a “sou l mate?”
• What o ne thing would you want your date to appreciate about you?
• What is the key to keeping passion alive in a marriage?
• Do you believe in the afterlife?
• What was the single greatest day of your life?
• What you do wi sh your parents would have told you?

Speed Date Organizers

Hurry Date
8 Minute Dating
QuickDate
Speed Dating. (Jews only)
Seattle Great Date (Seattle Specific)

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